Campsite Toilet Etiquette

Ian


Too Too much information, and just when I am having my poridge. (Breakfast table ones)



Andy

Having avidly read all the posts on this subject I'm surprised no one has mentioned the fact that a fart is one of the fastest things on earth, because as soon as it has left someones backside it's up someone else's nose.

Cheers John

Johno wrote:Having avidly read all the posts on this subject I'm surprised no one has mentioned the fact that a fart is one of the fastest things on earth, because as soon as it has left someones backside it's up someone else's nose.

Cheers John

For the scientifically minded, just like lightning and thunder (see one and hear the other four seconds later means it is a mile away) farts are very similar - but not quite as fast!

In free air gases disperse at the rate of about one metre every two seconds so if you are stood two metres away from your audience you have four seconds to make good your escape or blame the dog!!

Best regards,

Slightly off subject, but some comments reminded me of some god-awful evening 'nibbles' we had to attend for work, I really hated them,
so one one particular horrendous evening, yours truly was a bit 'iffy' down below, & was dropping some real evil jobbies, so I would time them
so as to be 'dropped' as I passed a group with one guy I really disliked in amonst the bosses, managers & wives etc. You know the sort of thing,
pass by quick, as if I was going someplace, then lean back & watch, it was ALWAYS hilarious, just to watch the looks on their faces as everyone
backed away from everyone else, & it was obvious that each thought it was the other.

Sorry to admit, but I took some sort of sadistic pleasure from that

That was in the 70s when I was in my 20s, i'm not like that now.

I have been following this thread and was quite amused on leaving some friends house last night to see a bloke walking his dog in his JJs and dressing gown and this is on what I would describe as a "posh" estate (upmarket for those not understanding northern expressions)

Hi CC

Thanks for the info - crossed that one off the sites to visit

Groper

The following was told to me by a one-time sister-in-law.

Mairi had purged her husband for about three years to attend one of the House-Parties thrown by the Manager he worked for.

The Company was a Directional Drilling Company based in Aberdeen and sent representatives all over the world so the lads returning from "dry" places could get petty boisterous to say the least. It was on this basis that Mairi's husband told her "You wouldn't like it." - but she insisted and was duly taken along.

The party was in full swing when the guests and hosts realised that there was a really evil smell emanating from a gentleman who had recently returned from a job out in the Middle East and was now sitting on a sofa in the middle of the living room.

The crowd backed away and the Hostess put on her sweetest smile as she approached the gentleman concerned with the words "You seem to have had a little accident."

"I sure have." said the gentleman, who was more than a little inebriated "I've had a dose of the trots for three days now."

"It's no problem." said the Hostess oozing kindness and understanding "If you care to come upstairs with me you can get cleaned up and I will find a pair of my husbands trousers for you to wear."

"Thank-you very much." was the reply "I'll be with you when I have finished."

Mairi never went back to another House-Party!!

Best regards,

Farts and phlegm gargling are easy to handle, what gets me is the state of the facilities buildings. We religiously check and tidy these as often as is possible in between checking campers in, siting units, helping folks tune in telly's, helping to repair problems with units, being a tour guide, a weather expert, a police person (trying to be pc), a dog poo collector, litter picker (another major issue), grounds person, plumber, electrician, refuse collector etc etc.

Within an hour of the last check they often look like they had been left all weekend without a clean. Would campers do this at home, for the majority I think not, the minority well maybe so.

The point I am trying to make is that if folks were to just turn around after flushing to see what they had left behind, then used the loo brushes provided to clean their debris off the porcelain then it would be nice and presentable for the next person. Perhaps picking up the used toilet tissue which they inadvertently dropped outside the pan would be nice too.

One for the ladies, we provide little bags for sanitary items and a bin in each lock-up. It would be really good if these were used and bloodied items were put in said bins, as nobody likes to enter a cubicle which looks like an exert from "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" !!!!

I think a little bit of self pride would go a long way to make life a lot better for fellow campers and site staff alike.

Mrs M regularly quotes the peas ditty regularly but transposes beans(heinz or similar.)


Brian 2

Hi there,

Just back home after sampling a few "facilities".

UK. Usually wet, often blocked and frequently filthy.

France. Range from a hole in the ground (toilette á la Turque) to a normal toilet. They NEVER have toilet paper and most often don't have a seat.

Holland and Germany. Most are clean enough to eat your lunch off the floor and ALL are provided with ALL facilities. (One in Holland even had a toilet seat that rotated and sterilised itself on every flush!)

Finland. Mostly clean but some charge 20 cents. (Men's "pissoires" are frequently rinsed with warm water which does nothing for the aroma!)

Check out the link for a top of the line facility!

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Best regards,

Hi my grandad was a retired miner.
his saying was .
weather in church or chapel lift a cheek and let it rattle.
rgds.DD